Wedding Number 2

Generally I don't blend in and don't mind not blending in with the crowd, but that is precisely what I wanted to do last Saturday. Eric and I went to a wedding; I wanted to look like an average wedding attendee. The Mission -- Don't get any that-lady-looks-like-she-has-cancer stares. With no eyebrows, no eyelashes, and thinning hair, I was nervous. Brennan and I went to the drug store on Friday to begin our preparation (early preparation.... I told you I was nervous ... and neurotic).

First, we looked at fake eyelashes. Did you know that putting on fake eyelashes involves applying glue to your eyeball? ... just about anyway. Yes yes .. one nervous twitch and the windows to your soul could be boarded up permanently (like I said neurotic). In the drugstore, we discovered that we had choices - eyelashes with lots of hairs, hairs spaced far apart, long hairs, short hairs, brown, black, individual hair clumps .... it's a nightmare. You think I'm kidding? Take a look yourself and tell me I'm not right ... nightmare. So we picked up two packages; two in case the first got stuck to our cheek, forehead, in case we dropped it in the toilet ... you get the idea.

We also bought an eyebrow pen (didn't know they existed) and some dark blush. Kari ... do you know you're pasty white and dark make-up of any sort will make you look goth which is fine accept when you're trying to blend in at your conservative friend's wedding. Actually, I bought the dark makeup to put in my hair. Remember the infomercials for spraypainted hair? exactly.

Since I wasn't sure if I could wear the eyelashes more than once and the package said I shouldn't sleep in them, I waited until Saturday morning to try them out. If I could get through the morning in them, maybe I could make it through the wedding. To my surprise, one of the packages of eyelashes said self adhesive ... whoo hooo..... no glue. I pulled them out, cut them to fit the length of my eyelid, and stuck them on. It was relatively easy, and to my amazement, I looked instantly more human. Phewww... hurdle number one ... check.

Next, I tried my version of the hair spray paint. Um yeah.... not pretty. I couldn't get the make-up on thick enough to make a noticeable difference to my thinning hair. What was I going to do now? I thought about trying to find a hat last minute; I think this thought was influenced by William and Kate's royal wedding. I wasn't British, far from a fashionista, and I knew I couldn't pull off wearing a hat to a wedding ... let alone do it while blending in .... and where the heck would I find one? (I'd still like to know the answer actually). My next thought was to braid my hair over the top of my head ... ummm... long shot, but I googled it anyway. This is the picture that google gave me.

YES... I want to look like this gorgeous woman ... ummm yeah. As I'm reading about intricate ways to braid my hair (so I can look exactly like the above picture), I ran across a young girl's post on yahoo answers that said, make your life easy ... go to the store and purchase a fake headband of hair. I looked back at the picture of the gorgeous blond above, and noticed that her braided hair did not match her real hair.... who knew! I got in car, drove to the nearest suburban shopping mall, went into Claire's (aka - store with cheap hair accessories geared towards teen girls), and bought a fake headband of hair for $10 ... it was perfect. One color fits most .... check.  My look was now complete. Here.... is the end result from all my hardwork! Drum Roll please.