Salads

Tomorrow is chemo #10 out of 12.  I have decided that I can cautiously ... very cautiously ... take a fleeting glance in the direction of the finish line. 

So Kari ... what super exciting adventure are you going to go on after chemo is finished?  ummmm.....the first thing I am going to do is eat a very large salad and a handful of blueberries ... perhaps several large salads.  It doesn't exactly sound celebratory and it is definitely not an exciting adventure, but after half a year of going without, I want a salad.  When that wears off (I hope it doesn't but who am I kidding), I'm going to go for a swim (another chemo taboo) and a manicure.  I can count the number of manicures I've had in my life on two hands but who doesn't love doing something forbidden?  Of course, I could do all of of this in a day ... so what's next?

When I sat down to write this blog, I certainly wasn't planning on such a weighty subject.  But heck, why not.

Through the eyes of cancer, I see more clearly.  I want to be the best person I can be, I want to maximize time with my family, and I want to make sure I spend my time wisely.  The goal is to remember that every moment counts today, tomorrow, and always.  The goal is to remember that money - though important to supply necessities (to all people) - is mostly unimportant.  The goal is to let go of how I am perceived by others (Not caring what other people think seems to be a welcomed side effect of cancer.)  Of course I am utterly incapable of achieving any of these goals all of the time.  I'm just hoping for the spiral effect.  Every once in awhile I may just take a step in the right direction and start circling on an elevated platform.  Every dog finds a bone eventually.

As far as the logistics are concerned - my last chemo session is on June 8th.  I think it is fitting that a friend of mine is expecting a baby on this date.  My white blood counts will increase over time; I think they are suppose to rebound in 1 to 2 months.  I will have follow-up blood work and a follow-up PET scan 6 weeks post chemo ... around July 20th.  That PET scan is very important.  If it's clean, we are going to party ... literally in our backyard ... you're all invited.  It will be followed up by some type of testing every 3 months for the next 2-3 years.  If I'm clean after 3 years, I will most likely never have Hodgkin's again.  If the first PET scan or any subsequent testing is not clean, then it's on to radiation and a stem cell transplant.  I'll take scenario number 1 please.

Just to come full circle (a lot of circling in this blog), I have three more chemo treatments to go and one month left.  Ahhhhh..