Chemo number 12 -- check

ahhhhh.... I am done with chemo!  Today was the very last session.  I of course am tired and probably won't sleep a lot tonight thanks to the steroids, but once again I am feeling well.  I can't jinx us by saying that we made it to the end of chemo because of course there are a few more days of side effects, but I certainly feel like this is a small milestone (I have an array of STUNNING roses in my living room to prove it)!  We'll have our first post-chemo scan in early to mid August.  I've been praying for us every day, and I can feel all of your prayers as well. Once again, it is very important for the first scan to be clean. Whatever is planned for me in the future, it is good.  I know it.

I am also hoping that the shortness of breath and chest tightness from my lungs will heal quickly.  I can't wait to go for a run!  It may be another couple months, but I can picture me with my blistering pace running around Loyola university and perhaps stopping into their warm and inviting church on the lake.  Or perhaps I'll take Brennan with me in our running stroller and head down lakeshore drive; we could even jump in the water to cool us off (no swimming during chemo, but I will be cleared for swimming in another month).  Whatever we choose we may be able to run for a whooping 10 minutes; hmmmm ... we're not going to go very far ... are we?

During our chemo yesterday, we did not have our usual infusion nurse.  Typically we have Celia and yesterday we had Mary.  Nothing against Mary, but Celia is our peeps; she's family whether she wants to be or not.  For the past 12 sessions of chemo, Celia, Eric and I have had a rip roaring time.  I know, it doesn't seem possible, but it is.  The drugs made me loopy and talkative and Celia and Eric were equally able to take my ramblings and run with them.  At the beginning of the journey, I heard that you should be yourself during your chemo sessions.  Instead of wearing cancer on your face or in your attitude, be YOU!  I worked hard at this.  For his part, Eric always brought his Tigger attitude (happy, happy, happy - I love that about him), and I was able to have a very positive picture of the chemo drugs (I looked at them as pacman eating up the cancer and sparing the needed normal cells; I did not picture the chemo as poison.), and Celia always walked in with a smile on her face, lots of knowledge, more than a willingness to help, and best of all she brought her great sense of humor that matched Eric and I perfectly.   Oddly, I m going to miss the time we enjoyed during chemo sessions (though not the chemo itself), and I'm not kidding.  Here's to Celia!!!!!!!

I will continue to write often as you all have taught me to love it!!!!  It's taken 32 years to put pen to paper without a grimace, and I would like to thank you all for encouraging me!  Of course you're probably just as happy to be able to stop reading this blog as I am to finish chemo, but not so fast. We still have to go through post cancer; I have heard that it can have pitfalls.  We have quarterly scans, a gorgeous new mullet that will begin to grow in a few weeks, hospital bills to navigate, we have blood work to find out whether we're part of the 80% post-chemo patients that are able to get pregnant or the other group who can't, we have traveling, running, to-work-or-not-to-work discussions ... OK I'm overwhelmed.  Maybe I'll just keep writing instead.

About my hair, I've taken a survey.  My hair has started to look like feathers; it's too long and thin and no longer looks good.  It's time to cut it ... not off.  I'd like people to be able to see hair under my hat, so that's the goal.  We'll see if I can muster up the courage to have it cut, or perhaps just do it myself.  Maybe Logan should come over and cut it (for those who don't know; I have a cousin-in-law who is very good at home remedies.  His home remedies usually involve teeth, but I digress.)  I, with my social anxiety (yes yes ... Kari has always been prone to social anxiety .... I try to ignore it most of the time.) do not want to walk into my large and glamorous haircuttery with my feathers.  How do you tell a hair stylist that she can't pull on your hair or shampoo it.  I have heard of stylists being overwhelmed by cancer patients, and I'm thinking about trying to warn her before I arrive.  In fact, I'm going to do that.  I need to give her a chance; I might just be surprised.

Bills are an interesting topic as well, or perhaps just a buzz kill.  We have 100s of statements for doctors and hospitals.  Two different billing offices at Northwestern, one of which has a website with your consolidated bill, one of which does not.  We have two insurance companies (my company switched the administrator from Blue Cross Minnesota to Blue Cross Anthem on January 1, 2011.)  The current insurance company denied two different claims from the Hospital.  Both because they didn't have the right diagnosis code; how many diagnosis codes does "cancer" have?  What's funny is that they couldn't tell me what service was provided on those dates.  They did however resubmit the $9,700 to the secondary diagnosis code and were hopeful that it would be covered.  I have figured out the bills for the surgeries and initial testing/chemo; those bills are done as dinner.  I am now waiting for the $9,700 to straighten itself out before paying the rest of the bills.  Luckily, I'm not only math capable, but I work in finance.  This is all very doable and I guarantee that I will be paying my deductible, plus out-of-pocket maximum, plus copays.... I will not be paying more or less.  But, what about everyone else.  It's making me increasingly anxious about the elderly's hospital bills.  If they don't have a son or daughter to help them, they could overpay.  To make things more complex, a stranger would not want someone like me (a volunteer) looking at their person information.  Perhaps the finance group at Northwesten will walk through their bills with them.  I think I'll ask the finance department that question.  Like I said at the beginning ... it's a buzz kill, but I would like to find a way to help. 

I forgot to infuse my funnybone between the words of the last paragraph ... can you say rewrite.  Alas, I don't have it in my.. I'm hungry.  Love to you all!  What a wonderful day!!  This day (well yesterday ... sleeping got in the way too) could mark the end of cancer and chemo in my life forever ... knock on wood!